Bertagnole Family 2014 - 004

These three kids are the reason I do most things in life, they are amazing, they have such great hearts, they make me smile, they make me laugh, and I love them with all my heart…. but sometimes that love gets buried a little deeper within me and takes a little work to resurface.

You see, these past couple of weeks has been a little rough. My energy has been low…really low, my patience is much shorter, and I simply am not feeling like myself. Without going too much into detail I’ll just say I have a hormone imbalance and for the past 2 years have been trying to get it under control in a natural way. But that’s not the point of this post. The point is, due to all the above mentioned symptoms, my relationship with my kids has not been where I would like it to be.

I haven’t been as strict about routines during the day, I have found myself engaging in power struggles, and doing all sorts of things I don’t like doing. In short, I am breaking ALL my rules.

In spite of all the things I am doing WRONG, the one thing I am happy I have done RIGHT is to reflect on what I can learn from this experience. I know I am imperfect, which means I will make mistakes. I try not to beat myself up over it because I feel that would bring me farther down a road I don’t want to be. So, as part of my reflection, I have come up with a few reasons Why Breaking the Rules Can Be Good

1. It gives me a chance to apologize to my kids. I feel it is so great for my kids to see that I am imperfect. I want them to see me for who I really am, and appreciate the effort I put in to fixing my mistakes and turning them around. I would love nothing more than for my kids to know that when THEY mess up, there is always a way to turn things around and get back on the right track. That is an example I get to set during times like this.

2. It creates a safe place to make mistakes. When I admit to making mistakes, and ask my kids’ forgiveness I feel it creates an environment in our home that allows for everyone to make mistakes safely. I had a friend tell me the other day that she tries to create an environment where her kids can “experience disappointment in a safe place.” I love that thought. If my kids can see that we ALL mess up, we ALL get to apologize, and we ALL have opportunities to ¬†forgive, we are ALL creating a safe place to experience any emotions that may occur in this journey of life.

3. It is always a chance for me to be reminded that we are all human, we all do things we aren’t proud of, but as we all work together¬†we become better people. I find that moments like these remind me how much I need a support system of great friends, a fantastic spouse, and compassionate children. I am grateful that I have that as part of my life and I rely on it more than I know.

So, next time you are having an “off” day and you happen to break a few of your own rules, I hope you can find the good in it all and come out on top. What are some of your thoughts on breaking the parenting rules? I’d love to hear them!